health tanking
wake up it's the 1st of tha month! last night was bad so i made some songs abt it, played league today (i am so good), bc of Problems i cant read anything so postponed. i have uhh Looked at my active friends on roblox and did Not enjoy what i saw ngl. am realizing even More feelings i am feeling about everything. idk if you saw but valo got a complete rework lol i wonder what your rank would be now. also learned of the piedra del sol skin line.
wakeup it's the 2nd of tha month! things are so bad. if i dont know what youre up to i can at least imagine that Some things are going north while everything else going south. genuinely so . bad also didn't eat today basically and dont have any food. it takes three whole fucking weeks to die of starvation i ltierally can't win. i saw bibinos in my dream i think he was my professor and on the last day i grabbed him by his shirt and shook bro and told him i had a grudge on him for the eurovision comments and i know there were 4 other ppl from my country for some reason and then i suddenly woke up for no reason at like 2 am. i have no energy i am genuinely dying for all i know. i downloaded soundswitch which lets you change your audio output with just one keyboard combo which saves me like three whole clicks wow incredible actually useful. if htings keep going downhill like this i won't last much longer. when my broken ass unusable organs get harvested i can disappoint someone one last time. have a bad migraine in times like these it's very hard not to kill yourself heh ! tried listening to my favorite fucking album and got so depressed and angry and disgusted i think it's over. i'm looking at the clutter on my table and basically everything can be connected back to you it's so so over. ngl im probably tweaking too much but im jobless enough to do that so who gaf. i got a horse food ad and then an umamusume ad and my mom walked in when meisho doto was making anime girl moan sounds and i accidentally restarted the sound again that was sad. trying to study\\
3. yabai. could barely tell my mom about my fuckass dream without tearing up again. night yabai day also yabai. why ur riot mobile active get ur opps out of there pmo. i got recommended a video of some irl horse with japanese text on it and i thought dawg wait a sec is that meisho doto and i kid you not it fr was. i think the umamusume anime is ongoing
4. yabai and health yabai i think i almost died. exam was really bad but i wasn't the only one ig. slept for literally the rest of the day bc am dying and also scared of getting up. got a really big humongous sign so i actually became very happy heh wait for the 20th bud. strobophagia on sale. i dreamt about you and then your mom was chasing me brah call me trump the way im scared of mexicans.
5. idk! god willing i might actually be dying. i cant fix my internet my pc fuckikng sucks i cant do anythibg. i cant take anxiety meds bc i think they make me feel worse so ive been extra jittery today too. get those fnaf head shakes sometimes im tweaking in every meaning of the word. i want to die really bad but i have to survive to see myself winning i have to win iwill show yall. guillermo del toro my new goat i believe in him. ill be back when my health is better if you havent given up yet heh
Good morning!
ReplyDeleteIt’s good to hear from you again although things aren’t looking so good 🥀
I’m sorry you’re not feeling so well. I wish during times like these I could be there for you how you were there for me. I’m glad you still have the determination to push through though.
It’s also hard for me to not to think of you all the time. I still have your items in my little box shrine if you lol. I brought your mom’s bird earrings to Mexico as well as the socks so I could feel closer to you and your family.
Yesterday, I went to an aquarium and fed some man stingrays and then watched chainsaw man. The song in the pool reminds me of you. Will catch up soon, I have to pee so bad and I can’t focus
Nah, basically the whole chainsaw man soundtrack reminds me of you. In specific, Past and fable remind me of you. Did you know the creator of the music in the movie also created the devil man crybaby soundtrack? That’s why it’s so goated bro. Also, the silent voice movie !
DeleteI hope you have a better day today. I’ll be thinking about you. Make sure to eat and drink lots of tea. I miss eating your cucumber. In honor of you I actually eat every vegetable that has been given to me ever since I last saw you.
Especially cucumbers
Haven’t had the chance to cry this much for you. I’m still feeling really sad, I’ll probably go to bed crying. I cry because it makes me sad to know how well we complemented each other. You were the only person in my life in where you’ve been able to calm me with just being next to me.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I am romanizing a lot of situations. I definitely did feel very stressed out and angry at times- but I relied so much on you recently that just you being there and hugging me was more than enough. It helped me feel so much more better.
Maybe I did this to myself. I hope that you had a better day today.
I care so much for you. All I wanted was a hug and that’s all I thought about when I was crying for an hour min the car. I miss you like always.
Montell Fish is just like me. His whole album dedicated to Jamie is just me towards you fr. Poor guy and his religious trauma. Makes me feel seen though. I’m glad his album exists. I’m glad to know it’s not only me that’s suffering through this.
Went to an orchestra and ate some really fire tacos today. Orchestra was only for those of high class- I have no idea how we got there. Conductor was French sigh
Sleep well, Robin
Probably shouldn’t have come to Mexico if I knew this would happen.
ReplyDeleteSaw a goth girl at a top one percent orchestra and she looked really cool. Maybe I go goth now. Probably the most I’ve ever wanted to do something in a while so that’s good.
Today isn’t a good day, but what can I do about it? I’ll try to enjoy my last days of Mexico. I want to go home. Have a good day <3
Also got scolded at for looking for the girl after the orchestra.
DeletePeople really do be insecure and then horrible bad things happened. I feel horrible. I think people use me. Maybe I’m really easy to manipulate. I need someone to save me from myself !
I miss you !
ReplyDeleteToday I’m heading back to the land of the free and going back to miles instead of kilometers
I’ll get back home around 2am
I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed and be able to play video games. I just want alone time for like 2 weeks. Alas, Esbeida and Rima want to talk to me on the 15th and 17th. I genuinely feel like a different person. I wonder if they’ll see me differently as well. Either way I’m still hung up on you and will probably always be.
I blocked Rin as well. I really did not like what he told me and I think that was the correct thing to do. Maybe I’m being too harsh? I don’t have time for people like that in my life though right now. Especially when he expects me to text him all the time and calls me out for not texting him and wondering if I’m even his friend. Not too sure on that one.
I also can’t wait to start exercising more
And maybe I’ll get a new gob! I’m thinking either a barista in someplace a friend works at- so we will be working together or being an RBT again. We’ll see. I need some money to buy myself nailong
Even nailong reminds me of you
There’s this one person also who reminded me of you so much throughout the entire trip. Their facial features and mannerisms
I’ll never be able to forget you !
Sometimes I even envy you because you’re so cool- I wish I could be as cool as you 🥀
Maybe someday I can be someone I truly like.
Take care, Robin! Have a great day :]
Home!
ReplyDeleteBrah my room so dirty sigh