Big Update

Fiddler crabs are very silly. Glassworts look like the stuff in prairies that I love too wow very nice

Had a panic attack Wednesday night because of how sudden everything was. I was so lost that I even loaded up Umamusume. I missed Fuji Kiseki (I did like her), but that means I'm saving up for Meisho Doto next!! Everything ends well life is wonderful etc etc

Almost had two panic attacks on Thursday morning, too; I thought I would skip class, but T came over to pick me up, so I took the chance and went. He was late, though, so I was late to the test, but I'm expecting at least a 6/10.

Spent most of the day with three of your friends. Again, they were really reassuring about you. In hindsight, what they said did not matter, but even back then, I felt lost on who to believe - I think you felt the same way, and I really feel sorry about it. Even if you do leave me, I will try to keep being someone you could be proud of and could rely on if you needed. 

R and T were hanging out? Alone?? They went to Naperville's Barnes & Noble? They seem crazy close, even if they don't talk a lot. We walked around and then went to a UNESCO Jeopardy event. We went to her car after the event, and lowkey I was third-wheeling the whole time lol.

R did say you could rely on her more - you misunderstood her house situation. She also said she was not a part of Everyone Who Hates Me, so you were wrong about that too :P I do think that, regardless, you do see things a little more pessimistically than they really are. All of us behind the scenes never stopped thinking about you and fighting for you - you may feel lonely, but you are not alone.

My physical-contact-hating cat was... holding my hand? Am I that lonely? That's not very sigma of me!

Chicago has some underground pipe tours oughh so cool and awesome

I'm the opposite of you - I'm straight up wearing the Simp sweatshirt every time I go out lol.

At some point, I thought of you so hard my headache lifted lol

Got match MVP in comp with battle Sage, we are So back. I'm back to Iron 1 again tho

You're right, zamn. I couldn't beat Fool Moon on easy more through tears lol. Went to the bathroom right after it, and broke down, but locked back in quickly for sigma. Soon after, cried again so hard that my cheeks crusted up from the dried tears, and my head started hurting, so I started to dance Umapyoi Legends (the horse gambling winning song) in front of the mirror before someone could see me. For extra horse points

Apparently, this dude named spiritbreaker939 is the biggest Agnes Tachyon fan. Everyone mentions him under every Tachyon post. He seems not to be active anymore, though.

It hit me just how much you really relied on me. It made me feel so good, but thinking about it not lasting hurt.

I didn't even realize I had problems that needed getting through lol. I don't know if you really grasp the impact you had on my life. Plus, as I've said, I don't think I will find anyone else, nor do I think I will want to. But you've made it very clear I'm not who you need, and that's okay. I knew that, I just wanted to hold onto hope. I'm happy to have helped you and been with you for at least some part of your life. Don't apologize for not being strong - you are. Making this decision takes strength, too.

I think I would have changed for you even more; the problem lies in it not making logical sense, not my lack of will. At this point, I think the biggest sacrifice I could make, the best thing I could do for you, is give up what I thought of the future for what you believe is right. I feel like you - I don't want you to disappear, and I really, really want to see who you become in the future. But I can't let my presence keep hurting you.

Also, you assume a lot of things. You shouldn't speak for me the same way I try not to speak for you. I don't think you know what I want or need, or what is best for me. You need to keep a clear head.

I'm actually running a notes page, writing down all of the memories I have with you. I don't want to forget it either.

I think I have so many tabs open my browser basically doesn't work anymore lol

Take care :) I'll be more active with updates

P.S. Hope you enjoyed the break from me lol. Hope you've been taking care yay

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