Back to being silly... for a couple hours

I genuinely don't know if this is just me being delusional, but I'd accept even that if it makes me feel better. Since I no longer have to spend hours feeling unable to do anything but wait and anticipate anything, I can now do other things. I caught up somewhat with my family, cleaned myself up, played MS (dude, I didn't have any voice acting in my first character's story), read some Peru lore, stretched, looked into some gamedev stuff.

I told everyone everything. I tried to make the best choices, but I wouldn't blame you for not feeling satisfied. We realized we don't even know where you are, but I will fly out to find you if needed. Getting the earliest DMV appointment. They honestly made me way more concerned - funny how I thought I could relax, huh?

Utility belt buddy kinda reminded me of you, so I'm gonna get it.

I hope we find out where you are somehow. My head hurts too much, so I will end it here for the day. I have to study for another test tomorrow. Good night and happy October. Too many things remind me of you and scare me a lot.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

giving up?

is radio silence a sign of silent approval? bros new years resolution is to get rid of me 🚬 easier done than said just say the word you don't have to babysit me. i guess i do owe you the q&a so ask questions if you want but you need to be prepared to hear the answers bc they're probably not going to be anything you would like
Read more

still survival we are not going hospitalwards i am ball for ever

SPOKE TOO SOON. my mood has been good, was genuinely happy for a couple of days, and then bro my health tanked. had to wait to see if i wasn't dying brah. just got up from forcing myself to try to sleep for 16 hours. it's like my body was just trying to speedrun every possible ailment this whole time lol. i'm okay now minus a slight cold and my obscene sleep problems. still behind on everything and kinda stressed, plus my sleep straight up left me unable to comprehend the passage of time, i don't feel the passing of days lowkey. i really really need to lock in to my physical health and studying. i have my last exam on Tuesday (origami ......) and then the final is a week after that and i am Quite Frankly Scared bc i know there is no way i am getting above a c and even then i'm being too generous. had a w gaming night instead of studying, horribly botfragged one game, and then just went reyna and aced and match mvpd and my team was 4/5 to ffing in the very beginning ...
Read more

is this hype moments

 woke up and looked at tge clock and it said 6 and i genuinely thought i slept for 15 hours since 3 pm and was still tired i thought i was genuinely close to dying. but it was 6 pm and we got Back to Work. drew a comic need to goonsmaxx more. i don't think i mentioned it but ringtones and phones buzzing are actually pretty triggering to me because it reminds me of how stressed i was being on guard 24/7 waiting from news from you, but when the same ringtone as mine played multiple times in class i actually barely reacted, healing maxxing. genuinely thought about getting just a small message with good news from you and still felt an insane wave of anxiety this whole situation fucked me up so bad bruh that's embarrassing. anw i did not sleep at all on Thursday night. and maybe it was the air at 11 am or being outside or the absolute banger dnb music in my ears but i felt so good about a decision i made that you wouldn't like. i genuinely felt like it was spring break in high s...
Read more